Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Why cant we just BE?

Is there a such thing as over stimulating an infant? Ever find yourself constantly trying to keep your little one busy?

I attend a weekly breastfeeding group and a few weeks ago the topic of discussion was- why cant we just let our kids BE?!

Recently I have really noticed a trend with mothers swamping their kids with activities, toys, stuffed animals, car seat attachments, stroller attachments, pacifier attachments -- okay okay you get the point!

I often ask myself if my kid is chilled out and relaxed- is it logical for me to shove toys in his face? If he is perfectly okay with staring out of the car window- do I have to have toys attached to his carseat?

I realized the truth is that the majority of time, I am just trying to give him something to do... mainly because I have something I need to do. I figure it will keep him occuppied if anything. It is kind of like having our own offices- he is busy in his cubicle with his toys and I am busy in mine... right? WRONG... The truth is... that most of the time it just is not necessary. It may even be more for myself then it is for him. I mean what Mother does not have a car seat attachment, how could I be the only one who does not need one?!

This is where the confusion stems... he is just a baby, does he really need to be entertained ALL the time- or is it possible that he could just BE?

What does it even mean to just BE? BEing can be described as taking a stress-free, hippie attitude, the kind where you notice and appreciate all the little things because you actually took the time to notice.

Not sure what I am talking about? Remember when you were a kid... when cell phones were big and clunky, when the now pocked sized Nintendo consisted of a big orange gun shooting at ducks! Of course you remember... how could you forget!? Those were the days when life was simple.... or should I say simpler then it is now. I remember playing with cardbord boxes for hours, pretending to use them as desk while we played school. I would even make my parents watch as I sat behind the cardbord box and pretending to deliver the evening news.

On rainy days, I would sit next to the window. Stare outside for hours, watch people as they passed by in their cars, bikes, some even cool enough to own roller skates. I watched the clouds take shape; imagined that they felt like fluffy white marshmallows. I would stare at the different lengths of grass- and found myself laughing at the thought of getting a haircut with a lawn mower! I appreciated the beauty that surrounded me, I could almost smell the rain and flowers through the window...

What did I learn most? I learned how to take notice of the little things, to step back and pay attention to detail..

And all I had to do... was just BE

1 comment:

  1. stumbled upon this post! One of the main areas of our remediation with Khaled is so just let him be! He needs time to consolidate what he has learned. For that parent needs to appreciate the learning process, and what it takes for a kid to learn. If you were learning/absorbing all the time you would implode. In autism this happens almost like every second due to the hardship required to process even things that seem like fun and free time for other kids - so if he is staring out the window or spinning something for a while - levae him alone :D - very hard of many parents as it means they ahve to watch their kid be wierd and not act normal - but hey thats how he deals with it.


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